Too funny, and relevant. Hopefully this will be available in Canada sometime soon!
Raj Beri, WG'07
Issue date: 2/19/07
Wharton's Venture Initiation Program (VIP) today announced their latest recipient of seed funding, NoText, started by two MBA students to combat the growing epidemic of Drunk Texting in the US. For those not familiar with the term, Drunk Texting, an offshoot of the more widely known Drunk Dialing, is the act of text messaging friends, loved ones, ex-girlfriends/boyfriends, strippers, etc. after a night of heavy drinking."It's out of control," commented co-founder and habitual drunk texter Harry Kubiak, "It's like a disease. I'd be out at Pulse or Byblos for some late night action and the next thing I remember is waking up in the morning and seeing that I had texted my ex-girlfriend and another girl I'm interested in at 4 a.m. looking for a booty call. When I read the 'I want you now and often' message I had sent, two things crossed my mind; One, I'm an alcoholic and two, that's not good for anybody. I got to thinking there has to be a way to prevent this from happening every Wednesday to Saturday night." Well, like many go-getter Wharton students, Harry and co-founder Roger Barry did more than just think, they acted. They have a prototype of a new cell phone add-on that prevents the owner from texting certain numbers after a prescribed time. "This could be a lifesaver", says Barry, "If this was around last week I would never have got back together with my ex. Dude, she really annoys me, sleeps around and we always fight, but I woke up one morning and saw that we had got back together over text messaging because I was horny. I think I may have proposed as well. Crap!"
Sadly, there are thousands of other stories just like this and many of them are here at Wharton. Says Kubiak, "With the level of inebriation at B-Schools like Wharton, especially among 2nd years who have officially said 'screw it' and now openly drink while conducting admissions interviews, we thought what better place to pilot the offering?" And the results have been nothing short of amazing. An anonymous 1st year female said that NoText saved her from some major embarrassment last week. "Before I went out for the night I just programmed these three numbers in that I wasn't allowed to text after 2 a.m. and boy, am I glad I did! I'm pretty easy when I'm hammered so I wanted to make sure I didn't do anything I regretted. There's these two guys in my class I normally hit up late at night and then sometimes when I'm really desperate, that Marketing professor who's into younger Asian girls." Score one for NoText (and one less for the Marketing Professor).
While the inebriated and under-sexed twenty and thirty-something crowd is definitely a core target segment for NoText, Barry sees the benefits extending to the professional realm. One unfortunate 2nd year said NoText could have really helped him last summer during his internship. "It was Thursday at 1 a.m. and I had just got off work during my internship at Goldman. I met up with a few of the boys, had eight too many drinks and kind of blacked out. Next morning I woke up and saw that I had texted my boss: 'You're a freakin' hosebag, just because you haven't gotten any in 10 years don't take it out on me. Die scum, die.' Needless to say I didn't get the full time offer and am now interviewing for a Wawa Regional Manager position. NoText would have really saved my career."
Even Wharton faculty and administration see the tremendous upside of NoText. The WJ investigative team was forwarded a text from a BPUB Professor early last week, sent to one of his faculty colleagues that read, "Yo W, we have that make-up exam for those Follies nerds tomorrow. Am way too bombed in Manayunk to create a new exam. What are we, machines that can spit out two exams a year? Let's just re-use last year's exam. Who cares anyway? This class is so irrelevant. No one is actually going to remember what the five elements of fraud are, that's what they pay lawyers for." Needless to say, the faculty members in question are the newest subscribers to NoText's services.
Another member of the Dean's office, who spoke to us under condition of anonymity, also thanks NoText for saving his job. "It was after Harker accepted the Delaware position. Me and some others were out late at the Faculty Club, had a few too many wine spritzers and I tried to send this text, ' Hey Pat, what, Pennsylvania doesn't have enough obese people for you? Want to go to the only other state in the Union that eats more cheese than us? Can I seriously have some of what you're smoking because it must be some good stuff. Peace out Hark Daddy.' But thank God, NoText prevented me from sending the message."
The NoText team is excited about the VIP funding and are now trying to find a full time CEO to take the company to the next level against potential rivals Samsung and Motorola. Barry comments, "Ideally we figure if this is going to be successful, we really need a Wharton Undergrad to lead the venture. Let's face it, they are way smarter than we are and we're all going to be working for them one day anyway, so why not start now?"
